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BOOKS AND ARTICLES

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things  which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours.”
                                                                                                        Alan Bennett, The History Boys

Hold me Tight: Sue Johnson

Developed over 20 years ago and practiced all over the world, Emotionally Focused Therapy has been heralded by Time magazine and the New York Times as one of the only types of therapy to actually work. Couples who practice EFT see a 75% success rate (compared to 30% for other forms of relationship therapy). EFT focuses on the emotional connection of every relationship by de-escalating conflict, creating a safe emotional connection, and strengthening bonds between partners.

Now in paperback, HOLD ME TIGHT introduces readers to EFT and illustrates a program they can use in their own relationships. Part I introduces the view of love as an attachment bond and applies this view to relationship problems. Part II offers seven ‘conversations’ that focus on key moments. Readers can use these to understand their responses and relationships better. Included are exercises to help couples work through the process.

An Emotionally Focused Workbook for couples: Veronica Kallos-Lilly & Jennifer Fitzgerald

This workbook is intended for use with couples who want to enhance their emotional connection or overcome their relationship distress. It is recommended for use with couples pursuing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). It closely follows the course of treatment and is designed so that clinicians can easily integrate guided reading and reflections into the therapeutic process. The material is presented in a recurring format: Read, Reflect, and Discuss. Readings help couples look at their relationship through an attachment lens, walking them through the step-by-step process of creating a secure relationship bond. 33 Reflections invite readers to engage with the material personally, expanding their own awareness and ability to tune into their partner. Discussion sections suggest relationship-building exercises and a framework for conversations that promote safety, disclosure, and engagement. Case examples, along with informative illustrations, are scattered throughout the book to validate, illustrate, and inspire couples along their journey. Clinicians conversant with EFT can use this workbook to extend the effectiveness of their work with couples by giving them structured tasks to work on between sessions. For clinicians training in EFT, the book can guide them in staying focused on the EFT roadmap and illuminate how important change events unfold.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies

A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world’s most successful approach to couple therapyOne of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships.

An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study
Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues
The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods
Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors’ case files
Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: John Gottman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else.

Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition ofThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

No drama discipline: Daniel J. Siegel Tina Payne Bryson

The pioneering experts behind the bestselling The Whole-Brain Child now explore the ultimate child-raising challenge: discipline. A breakfast bowl gets thrown across the kitchen, splattering milk and cereal all over the wall. Or one of your kids threatens a younger sibling. Or you get a call from the headteacher’s office for the third time this month. What do you do? No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with such tantrums, tensions, and tears – without causing a scene. Based on recent discoveries about the brain that give us deep insights into the children we care for, what they need, and how to discipline them in ways that foster optimal development, this book offers a ‘relational’ approach that builds on children’s innate desire to please their parents and get along well with others. Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline presents clear messages in a practical and inviting format. Using these techniques, you can discipline your children in a way that’s high on relationship-building, high on respect, and low on drama and conflict. As a result, your life as a parent will be easier, and your parenting will become more effective. And more importantly, you’ll create connections in your children’s brains to build emotional and social skills that will serve them now and throughout their entire life – all while strengthening your relationship with them.

Creating Loving Attachments: Kim S. Golding Daniel A. Hughes

All children need love, but for troubled children, a loving home is not always enough. Children who have experienced trauma need to be parented in a special way that helps them feel safe and secure, builds attachments and allows them to heal. Playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy (PACE) are four valuable elements of parenting that, combined with love, can help children to feel confident and secure. This book shows why these elements are so important to a child’s development, and demonstrates to parents and carers how they can incorporate them into their day-to-day parenting. Real life examples and typical dialogues between parents and children illustrate how this can be done in everyday life, and simple stories highlight the ideas behind each element of PACE. This positive book will help parents and carers understand how parenting with love and PACE is invaluable to a child’s development, and will guide them through using this parenting attitude to help their child feel happy, confident and secure.

Whole parent: Debra Wesselmann

An important look at how parents can break free from their past unhealthy parent-child relationships and provide a healthy psychological foundation for their children.

Surviving Infidelity : Rona B. Subotnik Gloria G. Harris

What Now? Nothing your marriage has sustained in the past compares to the pain of discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful. The betrayal, rage, sadness, and jealousy is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. And yet it is possible to move forward, decide what to do in your marriage, and most important, heal.

For more than 10 years, Surviving Infidelity has been offering sage advice and compassionate, nonjudgmental analysis. Based on the private practices of licensed marriage and family therapist Rona B. Subotnik and clinical psychologist Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D., this third edition has been completely updated and gives you strategies to:

  • Understand the different kinds of affairs and why they happen, including Internet and emotional affairs
  • Cope with your emotions, from grief to rage
  • Repair the marriage if you choose to
  • Learn what it takes to be a survivor

Surviving Infidelity, 3rd Edition brings you the new hope and the empathy you need in this difficult time.

Autism All Stars: Temple Grandin Jeanette Purkis Iain Payne

Looking at the positive influences, great talents and unique thought processes of individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders, this book is a celebration of those who have used their autism to shine in life. Writers from all over the world at different stages in their careers, and from very different backgrounds, share their experiences of creating a successful life on the autism spectrum. Each explains how it is possible to draw on autistic strengths not just to make your way in the world, overcoming challenges and obstacles, but also to make your life a real success. Education, the world of work, and relationships are the focus of the first part of the book, which then goes on to look at exceptional creativity, and the use of special interests. The autobiographical stories in this book are full of wisdom and humour, and will be an inspiration for anyone with high-functioning autism or Asperger Syndrome, their family and friends, and the professionals who work alongside them.

Let’s relate on the Autism Spectrum: Brian R King

Containing life-changing strategies and solutions, this book will enable everyone who knows, lives with or works with an individual with autism to achieve a positive relationship that fosters cooperation and mutual respect. The author has dedicated over 20 years to studying, observing and implementing communication strategies that help him, his wife, their three children and his clients experience positive relationships. His immediate family are all on the autism spectrum and they work together to understand one another, resolve misunderstandings, and help each other feel important, loved and respected. Sharing their inspirational personal experiences and interweaving every chapter with practical hints and tips, the book looks at how to get communication working for everyone and emphasizes the importance of laying down ground rules and building confidence. This book will be essential reading for family, friends and professionals who wish to communicate more effectively with those on the autism spectrum.

The couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD: Nancie Kohlenberger, Lmft Melissa Orlov

More and more often, adults are realizing that the reason they are struggling so much in their relationship is that they are impacted by previously undiagnosed adult ADHD. Learning how to interact around ADHD symptoms is often the difference between joy together and chronic anger and frustration. So The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD lays out the most important strategies couples can use – right now – to rebuild trust, fight less, disagree more productively, get the attention they deserve, and rebuild intimacy in their relationship. These are strategies honed over years of working specifically with couples impacted by ADHD, and demonstrated to change lives for the better. ‘Thrive’ is the go-to book for couples struggling with ADHD who want to actively work to improve their relationship.

Divorce and Blended Families: Carrie Iorizzo

Offers information and advice on divorce and blended families, including how to make household transitions more smooth.

Putting Children First: Joanne Pedro-Carroll

An internationally renowned authority on children and divorce reveals the latest research-based strategies for helping children survive and thrive before, during, and long after their parents divorce.

The breakup of a family can have an enduring impact on children. But as Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children’s emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives.

Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath. Now she shares practical, research- based advice that helps parents:

  • gain a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing
  • develop emotionally intelligent parenting strategies with the critical combination of boundless love and appropriate limits on behavior
  • reduce conflict with a former spouse and protect children from conflict’s damaging effects
  • learn what recent brain research reveals about stress and children’s developing capabilities

Filled with the voices and drawings of children and the stories of families, Putting Children First delivers a positive vision for a future of hope and healing.

Non violent resistance: Haim Omer

This book begins with an examination of Gandhi’s ‘nonviolent’ resistance and its application to the family context. A model of escalation processes between parents and children is presented, as well as ways for overcoming escalation. The book includes a step-by-step instruction manual for parents. Special topics include: dealing with violence against siblings; dealing with children who take control of the house; building alliances between parents and teachers, and community uses of the approach.

The psychology of demonization: Nahi Alon & Haim Omer

Throughout human history, the relationships of individuals and groups have been disrupted by what the authors sum up as demonization, the attribution of basic destructive qualities to the other or to forces within the self. Demonization results in constant suspicion and blame, a systematic disregard of positive events, pressure to eradicate the putative negative persons or forces, and a growing readiness to engage in escalating conflict. Richly illustrated with 24 case stories, this book explores the psychological processes involved in demonization and their implications for the effort to effect change in relationships, psychotherapy, and beyond the office or clinic in the daily lives of families, organizations, and societies. Recent popular psychology–the authors argue–has tended to encourage demonization. An appropriate alternative to this view is known as the tragic view : Suffering is inevitable in life; negative outcomes are a result of a confluence of factors over which one has only a very limited control; there is no possibility of reading into the hidden demonic layers of the other’s mind; the other’s actions, like our own, are multiply motivated; escalation is a tragic development rather than the result of an evil master plan ; and finally, skills for promoting acceptance and reducing escalation are necessary for diminishing interpersonal suffering. The authors describe and illustrate a series of these skills both for psychotherapy and for personal use. Finally, they lay out an approach to consolation and acceptance, the neglect of which they attribute to the dominance of demonic views. The Psychology of Demonization: Promoting Acceptance and Reducing Conflict will be appreciated by all those professionally and personally concerned with the state of relationships.

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