What is it
Domestic violence is not only about physical and mental mistreatment but also about a tremendous feeling of helplessness and is used as a method of controlling, intimidating and submitting. Most couples that have fallen into a pattern of violence don’t want to split up and are feeling alone and ashamed and find it very difficult to take the step in asking for help. Partners want to stop the violence and step out of the vicious circle.
Instead of thinking in terms of the perpetrator and the victim and dealing with these seperately it is best to have joint sessions with the couple and to explore how the situation got out of hand and to help the couple in working together to be able to calm down before a conflict escalates and to learn new ways of dealing with irritations and conflicts.
The focus at the beginning of the therapy is being able to stop, step out and prevent arising conflicts.
A time out contract is a good method in acquiring these new skills. The second phase of the therapy will be about understanding and recognising underlying patterns in order to change these.
The therapy will also help parents and children in understanding the impact on the children and help the healing proces.
What we will do
During the introductory visit the couple and therapist will assess the situation and if all agree that therapy could be an effective solution for the couple, therapy sessions can be scheduled. During the therapy process there will be regular evaluations and if necessary adjustments in wishes or aims can be made.